It's been so tiring these few days. Workloads keep piling, wrinkles keep coming. My youth is failing me and in August I'll be thirty. Seriously, there's just not enough room to breath. Life isn't getting better either with a research paper to due in 12 weeks. I'm currently doing a study on "The Influence of Regulation, Financial Literacy, Social Influence and Media Promotion on Credit Card Spending" (boy is that a mouthful D:). At first, I was like patting myself on the back, "woohoo lynn a research in 12 weeks and your target samples are those who are financially independent AND at the same time own a credit card..seriously amazing! And you plan to collect how many? 200 samples! WOAH".
Now it's week 8 and I'm sitting alone in my bedroom cursing myself while my crazy ambitions take control of my hands to slit my throat slowly with a blunt knife.
That's actually really how I feel for these past few weeks. I keep telling my team members to not worry, to stand strong and persevere. I tell them what's lying ahead and what isn't but sometimes I forget to remind myself of all these things. Sometimes I keep going back to UCS 3001 Leadership where Mr.Victor's voice will echo in my head: leaders often fail because they run out of energy and when they're down and crushed, no one is going to sit next to them and sympathize. And that's true.
Who would wanna follow a leader masked with fear?
At times, I try to not think of the things I have to do. The LIST of things I have to do. I know it's denial but as much as you hate to admit it, denial keeps us alive... at least until you're sane enough to handle what's coming. And I've been shielding myself long enough until yesterday when I listed the million things down together with my members. Actually come to think of it I've got a great team. Most people just don't give a damn about their work but not my team members. They all give a shit and they all want to do their best. I worry sometimes that the struggle will kill their spirit.. but it is a worry not worth thinking about...
I can only make sure I'm not the reason.
So yeah... that's the story of the murderous semester that is still on the loose. Xin Yi , the ex boyfriend/my badminton buddy has been such a nice fellow for the past few days. He sacrificed his time to (his own words) be my "entertaining machine" (although we only played badminton) and he's also going to help me distribute my surveys to his colleagues :D ! But he has been quite entertaining lah :P I asked him, "have you done a research before ah or written a thesis?" His reply, "no but I've filled questionnaires before and my IQ is 200. Enough experience to fill your survey or not?" =_=""" I swear I can faint while talking to him. lol like I don't think a person with an IQ 80 would have problem filling my survey lor.. (except the first 10 questions on Bank Negara Malaysia la).
i think i can charm a handful
but remmeber they MUST have credit card and earn income ya
or else cannot take them as a sample
wooOoooo
haha i really wonder what u do at work wan lor
0 comments:
Post a Comment