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Days when I feel like this..

drained

[11:21:15 PM] lynn: lazy. bunny. lazy. bunny.
[11:21:21 PM] lynn: lazy. bunny. bunny. lazy.
[11:21:24 PM] lynn: i. feel. lazy.
[11:21:27 PM] lynn: u. are. bunny.
[11:21:33 PM] lynn: i. feel. lazy.
[11:21:36 PM] lynn: u. are. bunny.
[11:21:44 PM] lynn: i. i. u. u. lazy. bunny.

Amitabha~

Yesterday Joanne, Michelle and I treated ourselves to a spa day :)

Hahah I know this is insane considering the semester JUST STARTED and no work has been done yet but still.... yes... but still WE FEEL SO STRESS ALREADY.

3 out of 4 assignment questions are already uploaded. SIFE's major project is up and coming. And job application is not getting easier as well :(. There's just so much to do and the more I think about it the more I just wanna lie dead on my bed, hoping time would just spare me a little mercy and die awhile with me until I figure out what to do!

I thought the fact that this is the last semester I would be pumped up! Well, somehow I think it did or else I wouldn't be facing 2 PLUMPED UP PIMPLES on my faceeee every morning T_T! I think I might need to get a concealer soon. The other day I went for an interview and you wouldn't imagine how many layers of foundation I had to spread on my cheeks. I was almost desperate enough to reach out for peanut butter #likeseriously.

The Magic of Make-up
It's not just about getting the right tools but also having the right skills too ><
I need Grooming 101.

So with all this stress going on, I felt like I couldn't wait anymore. When Jo made that appointment, I was this |________________________________________| excited about it :P. The fact that the whole place smelled of ginger didn't bother me at all. I was ready to get down naked if it was gonna ease any part of the stress-elimination process. Lol At first Jo and I were pretty insecure though. The fact that we were gonna be massaged butt naked with the next person sleeping one feet across the room wasn't really stress-free. BUT... we paid RM29 for it and we deserved it for what is about to come, so SCREW INSECURITY!

"Whole body??"
"YES!"
"Lynn! Don't see me!"

And indeed I was satisfied with the service. Although I came out smelling like a walking ginger, Fitri, my masseuse was simply amazing with her hands ;) hahah. She was not only entertaining but she too knew when to shut up. You know how some service people just never know when to give it a rest? Yea.. she ain't like that. She also feels very strongly about she does and I think that's what I like most about her; she does it well because she believes a massage is much more than just a massage.

I know some massages can help loosen your fats so that when you exercise it can be burned more easily. Jo says that massages can help reduce muscles too. So if you swim too much and you don't wanna look more manly than your boys, massage your fears away! :B OH and I guess massages can help you overcome your insecurity issues as well? haha maybe just a little.

Overall, I enjoyed it a lot. For such a low price to pay - thanks to Groupon ;) - it was really worth it. I even considered their spa packages.... but thought better of it and decided.. maybe when I get that dream job I've been dreaming of I'll reward myself again :)

The Postman

Did you know it costs you around RM70 to send a few blardy pieces of paper to New Zealand??

Urgh... since my roommate has left the country my parents have been spending immense amount of money on courier services. If you wanna be cheapskate, Pos Malaysia might rape your mail. If you wanna be cautious, you let Pos Laju rape your wallet. It's so impossible to guard the chastity of anything these days. If your child isn't dead, you should already be thankful. 

So anyways, this morning I was writing my love notes to my sister and because I didn't want the post people to get at it too quickly, I decided to encase it with a box along with my belated gift to the dearest. Didn't want to look at it any longer (because if I do I wouldn't be satisfied and I might chuck my whole self into that casing) I quickly passed it to my mum. 

My mum being a mum took one look and started complaining.

"Haaa girl you still wanna put it in a box ah?? Like that not heavy meh??"

"Nooo.. the box is reallyyy light. Lift it and see!"

"Nooo.. that's not the point"

-.-""

Ok... now I've lost my point.

Old habits die hard

Hate it when there's truckloads of work waiting for me and I just keep them waiting. Instead of completing it like a good girl, I stay up until the wee hours of the morning to challenge what's left of my mental power to do this. It's not even the famous Scrabble, I'm playing. Word with Friends, they call it. The worst part is... I'm not even playing with a friend at this hour. Nope.. all my friends are fast asleep and all I'm doing (like I always do in every board game) is taking the longest time of my life thinking how the hell to be the most kiasu person alive at 4am.

Not really difficult since at 4am most kiasu people should also be asleep but yes.. this is me; the kiasu-est of all kiasus.

I should really write that in my resume. It's quite a powerful character don't you think? Hmm.. will I ever hire someone who came in with a kiasu tag imprinted on their forehead? Such a dangerous question. Shall not let myself be a kiasu hypocrite tonight ;)

But I truly believe that people don't become kiasu overnight. It takes time to build such a personality. I couldn't possibly be borne naturally with instincts TO SQUEEZE THE LIGHT OUT OF BEN WHENEVER HE BEATS ME IN SCRABBLE RIGHT?!?! I mean, Word with Friends. I mean, he's the love of my life. I mean, this is impossible. 

Am I a monster?

Sigh...

Dear Mr.Victor,

The Seah family is suing you for misleading their daughter to believe that the world is expecting her to graduate with a first class degree and because of that she has now turned into a monster. That's 10 million USD from you. Thank you.

Sign,

Don't worry I'll still be your friend.

Who do you think you are?

There are just some things in life you can't help but wanna share. Some easier to explain. Others you can only wait and see.

I'm having the biggest trouble with that last bit.

If I can prevent every bad thing from happening I would do just about anything but there are some things I believe no matter how many times you tell the person "YOU ARE WALKING TOWARDS THE WALL", they just won't listen. My dad is one of them. Why? Because he has this belief that out of the 99 things you often worry about day and night, only 2 would actually happen, so don't worry.

He makes me sound like an old uncool woman, standing next to him. In my defense.... I haven't any ><. Truthfully, I'm the most uncool person anyone could ever meet. My sister has always joked about my kids loving her more because she's the only one who would give them candy. In my defense... candy gives you tooth decay, people!! In her defense... I'm still uncool. You know the movie "Chicken Little"? Yea, I would actually be the one worrying about the sky falling. When I'm sitting in the car and I have no exam stress to worry about, I would think of as many life-threatening scenarios I can possibly be put in and ponder on the best moves to escape. Ben has been the victim of this and he thinks I'm crazy but anything is possible, man. Scenario Analysis is the best chance we've got.

So tell me.. what would you do if you know something would happen if the circumstances now didn't change but no one would listen to you because you have a paranoid reputation? Let them bang the wall a few times until they hit realization??

Hahah that was actually one of my ideas during a leadership workshop class: "Question: your brother/sister is always playing computer games and not focusing on their studies. What should you do?"

Leave them to fail and then lead by example. They're not stupid. They can connect the dots -.-

But saying is always easier than doing. Now when it is really happening.. I just don't know whether I can just stand by and watch. 

If only words were enough.

Day #10 Kick-off

Last week my new found friend Joycelyn told me that her friend got kicked out from the kick-off meeting. I don't know what you're thinking but I know mine spelled S.A.D. = SAD as soon as I heard it.

BUT ANYWAYS I had my first one today :) It felt good being part of something. Last week I was close to shitting in my pants while I googled what really is a kick-off meeting when they say it in audit. Well, thank goodness there's no need for imagination anymore. I was getting kinda nervous until I got more nervous from 3 to 5pm today.

In a rough sketch, a kick-off meeting is where every team member in an engagement team sits together with mentos sweets on the table ^_^ and discuss the things to prepare for before heading to the client's place to audit. Some matters that are to be discussed are such as the background of the company, timeline of the audit, task allocation among members, materiality (the most famous word in the office!!), documentation requirements and my favourite topic of them all = CLAIMS :D. 

I was worried that I was too unprepared for it though. Audit has got me so rigid these days. Even Steven (the boy who never takes his eyes off the slides in Investment class) is more rebellious than I now D: (as you can see how badly my reputation is ruined). And it didn't help my confidence when my seniors only told me to bring a notebook either (and by this they mean the traditional notebook... not even the laptop kind -.-). But all is well when the meeting started. Like I said it felt good :). I know Ms.Madeline said that we should observe the culture of the company and not just blindly work our ass off for money but the thing is... I was thinking to myself that even if Ms.Madeline hadn't had reminded us of this, this would have been all too noticeable for any newbie at PwC. The director, Mr.Herbert today didn't mind recapping on the background of our client for the benefit of those new to the project. He too emphasized on efficiency and preferred if we had work-life balance. At the end of the meeting, my boss's boss, whom now I refer to as Boss also reminded the seniors to explain to the juniors "why? why? why?" whenever they give any orders. They don't want people doing things without knowing the reason and to ensure this they even have a performance review of which every member is encouraged to write one for their own self-development. So I guess you can say I'm starting to see colours at work ;) despite my melodramas last week :P and my expecting late nights ahead.

***

The audit starts next week but there's already loads of the things to prepare for now >_<. More elearns to complete and more research to do. The director and the manager of my engagement team already hinted me today: "now we know these clients prefer to only talk to those they are familiar with so to prevent them from bullying you you have to be professional".

So my dilemma now is how am I gonna transform me from a 2-week-old intern into a 2-year-old professional in 5 days? o_O

*/seeks_advice*